remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
