brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
