I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
