i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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