Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize