Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize