we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
