This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
