I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
