I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
