Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
