About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
