I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
