But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
two words: eviction party
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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