I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
