ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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