i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
