i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
