Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
