By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
