the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
