You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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