Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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