I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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