i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
