Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize