It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
