i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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