The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
