It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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