that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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