the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
