I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize