i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Is it because I queefed?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
