So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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