you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
