I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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