why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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