I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my sisters under your porch take her home
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
