Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize