Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She said her name was "party"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
