Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
