Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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