sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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