I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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