he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
tell me about the eggs
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
