Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
