Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
