i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
