I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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