She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
