you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize