OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
vagina is talking i cant
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
