Where is the hickey?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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