im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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