when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
