Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
